Filed under: city life | Tags: Bridget Jones's Diary, The Economist, The New York Times
Hello, all. Is anyone out there still reading this mess of a blog? I’ll happily take no response as a solid YES. My carefully crafted words (psshhh) are not being lost in the frightening void of cyberspace!
Now that’s in order, I’ll proceed with some random thoughts.
So, in this time and age of texting and e-mailing and and instant messaging and facebooking and playing tetris on your god forsaken blackberry, I thought about how unsettling it is to feel disconnected, or worse, forgotten.
I get disappointed when I come home after work and check my personal e-mail account and there is not a bold number next to the word “Inbox.” No new e-mails? How can this be? I’ve got people who want to connect with me, people who want to tell me things and ask me about my philosophies of life. I must. Are they just busy?
I reassure myself I’m not a loser. I refresh the page and I’ve got a new e-mail. Victory! I’ve got purpose. Oh, wait….it’s the daily politics e-mail I get from the New York Times. Interesting, but not very personalized. The e-mail distracts me for about an hour. I click around on the Times’ site, read a few of the top stories, get lost in the World section and feel guilty for being uninformed on international happenings, pledge to myself to read the World section everyday (and almost immediately forget said pledge, and, then, I go to the music and movies section where I feel at home. Never judged, never turned away by British journalists who always seem better at reporting. I welcome the pretentiousness of A.O. Scott and the wise words of Manohla Dargis. I move on to Theater section and wish for the millionth time I lived in New York. But, wait, I live in D.C. I should stop having that dream about New York. There are rats in the metro in New York, I remind myself. I bet there are rats in D.C. too.
I feel adequately informed and move on from the Times. I refresh my e-mail inbox. Still nothing. I sign in to iChat – I don’t even talk to anyone on instant message anymore. What am I doing? It’s always the same people online…are they talking to people? I stare at the buddy list for one or two minutes, IM a cousin and then sign-off. A futile exercise of habit.
I refresh my e-mail inbox again. AHA! Two new messages. One from the Obama campaign (I pledge my loyalty to you Barack, but must you send me so many e-mails a day? I can’t make any more donations- I’m poor) and ANOTHER news update, this time from the Economist.
Am I a total dork? Yes. But, at least I’m sort of informed. Sort of.
Is my phone buzzing with a new text? I hate text messages. I send one anyways so my phone might buzz later.
I turn on some Radiohead and feel worse and then better.
I get into bed and pick up a Zadie Smith novel – they’re like old friends – and read. I forget feeling uncool. And I slip into a different universe.
The whole scene reminds me of the opening credits of Bridget Jones’s Diary – Bridget checks her answering machine and in that cruel automated voice it responds “no new messages.” I’m not at the stage where I think I’m going to get eaten by wolves.
Well, not yet.
Hasta Pronto. xx
I found a place to live! It’s a studio apartment located in Alexandria. I decided to forget the roommate idea, and I couldn’t afford to live alone in the city. I figure the studio suffices for a temporary fix. At least now there’s room for an upgrade. I’m looking forward to decorating the place. Somehow, I need to switch up my traditional room design – miscellaneous music posters and random post cards. I’ll keep my eyes open for inspiration in the next few days. I think I want one really big piece of art to be the central theme.
The end of my housing hunt also means the end of my bizarre housing-related stories. I won’t miss walking across the entire city searching for a decent place to stay and making conversation with stupid strangers who think they are superior because they’re not homeless. I think the worst house was the one with the dirty hippies who had the unknown number of cats. Although, I do give them polite points, one of the guys who lives there did call me to tell me they didn’t want me. I’m glad I don’t have self-esteem issues; getting rejected by star-watching hippies can be quite a low blow.
I move into my studio next Friday. My parents are planning to come visit D.C. next Wednesday and they are going to help me move in and get some furniture.
I can’t believe my city life is finally coming together. It feels good to know I’ll soon have a place of my own.
Work is going fairly well. My editor is out of town for the next two weeks and she’s left me in-charge of keeping things organized. Don’t misunderstand me, I have no power. I’m just the middle(wo)man who communicates with her about what’s going on in the newsroom.
I’m attending a best friend’s wedding this weekend and I’m planning on giving a toast. I’m one of her bridesmaids and I claim to be a writer, so a toast is kind of a given. I’m making it seem as though I’m being forced to do it, but I actually volunteered. I think its probably the best gift I can give my friend. Words are meaningful, right?
I really enjoy writing speech type things. Public speaking is such an art – a mix of manipulation, motivation, emotions. It can be so many things. I want to be a political speech writer, and a diplomat, and a novelist. I better stop surfing facebook in my spare time and go to the library more often.
I went for a walk after dinner tonight, and I felt mentally refreshed afterwards. I put in my headphones and just looked around as I walked. “One” by U2 came on and it made me tear up. I’m not sure why. Music has that effect on me. A song hits me in a particular spot and my feelings come flooding out. I usually feel better afterwards.
I leave for the wedding in Utah on Thursday. I can’t wait. I’ll write again before the trip.
Oh, my short story is not going so well. I haven’t made much progress the last few days. Maybe I’ll catch up while I’m on the plane. I’ve got all these ideas; I just got to write them down.
Hasta pronto my people. xx
Filed under: city life | Tags: Britney Spears, Grunge, Nirvana, Quentin Tarantino, Welcome to the Dollhouse
Hello! I forgot to mention in my previous posts that I watched the movie Welcome to the Dollhouse on Monday. It’s a dark comedy about a 7th grade girl who gets constantly picked on at school and has only one friend. Dawn, the main character, is painfully dorky and desperately wants to be accepted. Watching the movie made me think of my dreadful 7th grade days. My classmates didn’t constantly torment me (thank God) but I did get teased…mostly by the lame guys in my health class. What irked me the most about the teasing was that it often revolved around my budding femininity (the joys of puberty!) and it made me uncomfortable. I remember I got so feed up once that I tried to tell my teacher about it, but she brushed it off and told me to stop being sensitive. Sensitive? What an idiot. I eventually resorted to my own tactics: I grabbed one of the smaller losers by the shirt collar one day, pushed him up against a locker and threatened to literally kick his face in. Sort of gruesome, eh? Like a scene from a Quentin Tarantino movie. Middle School Dogs. Kill (Insert Loser’s Name Here).
If I remember correctly, my threat did work for a while. I don’t recall any other time periods in my adolescent life being particularly rough. That year, 7th grade, was definitely the worst of them all. I used to refer to it as “the dark time.” Melodramatic, yes, but the title does fit. In the midst of being poked and harassed in health class, I also realized most of my best friends sucked. I wore lots of eyeliner and this weird silver ball chain thing around my neck. I felt angry, but I wasn’t ever sure why. I’m not sure what type of music I was listening to…probably most of the same stuff I listened to now with a speckling of grunge.
I’m glad it’s over. If someone invented a time machine, I would never go back to high school. It’s such an awkward time in your life. Your stuck in one place, living under the watchful eye of your parents and all you want to do is be FREE. I did things (stupid, pointless things) in high school I could never imagine doing now. The rebellion phase is over.
Well, this has been a random blast from the past post. I didn’t expect to have this much to say about 7th grade. I guess misery always makes for good material later.
Another Random Note:
I decided I must commit to writing a short story. I’m setting a deadline of September 1 in order to give myself ample days to not write and waste time. No, seriously, I’m going to do it. It’s silly of me not to be writing in my free time. How am I going to make extra money by selling my short stories if I don’t write any short stories? This is an obvious dilemma. I’m starting this short story project (SSP) tomorrow. If I make decent progress and don’t write complete and total crap, I’ll post snippets of my SSP here at Look Inside America. Comments (even unfavorable ones) are welcome.
I found this news story when googling Quentin Tarantino. I couldn’t leave it out of this post. Crazed in real life, Britney takes her mental instability to the big screen. Genius!
Hasta pronto. xx
Filed under: city life
Its been more than a few hours since my last post. I’m always exhausted after going to see a house; I think it wears me out to think about how much time I’m wasting. The people in the crappy house in Columbia Heights (with the vegetarian journalist) did send an e-mail to offer me the room. I politely declined – I couldn’t pay that much money and live in the hood. The house I visited on Sunday turned out to be too far (the ‘burbs of VA) and there were many extraneous fees (lawn mowing, gutter cleaning, etc.) tacked onto the rent during my visit. The rent, which was advertised as $600, ended up being closer to $800. When you ain’t got much money, $200 is a lot of extraneous fees. One of the roommates at the Sunday house described her neighborhood like this: “It’s so quiet. You, like, never see the neighbors.” That sucks. I’m not trying to live in anti-social suburban land where no one even smiles at you. Granted, people in the city might not smile often, I’d rather be in the action than way the hell out there.
Today at work I felt so exhausted. I guess my body is still adjusting to the 9-hour work schedule. I look at everyone around me and they seem busy – and I wonder, are they really being productive? I’m not a reporter yet, which means I don’t have ways to make it seem like I’m toiling away on a difficult story. I felt zoned out today – my mind just kept drifting. I even had trouble reading the newspaper. But, I did manage to read a story about being bored in the New York Times. The story basically said boredom is good exercise for your brain; it causes your brain to stretch and work creatively. I can’t test the accuracy of this statement, but it sort of makes sense.
Music Update:
Two of the guys (should I say colleagues? that sounds pretentious) in my section always put their headphones in when they’re “writing.” I thought this was strange the first time I saw it. I’ve never seen anyone just tune themselves out in a newsroom. I can understand it helps them with the “creative process,” but it’s also really annoying to keep shouting at them to get their attention. Anyways, instead of hating on them for listening to music in the middle of the day, I decided to try it myself. I logged into Pandora Radio where I have my station “Listen Up” programmed to play my favorite artists. I must need to put some bands into the mix because the radio kept playing the same artists over and over. The Pixies, Nirvana…it was good stuff, but I needed more of a variety. And, somehow, an Audioslave song got on the playlist (eww). In my opinion, Audioslave is like nails on a chalkboard. I don’t even know how to classify that type of music. It’s this awful fake Top 40 leather pants washed out rock, similar to the grossness of Nickelback and, I don’t know, other terrible bands. I’m totally drinking the hatorade this evening. Forgive me.
Book Update:
I started a new book this week – “Girls of Riyadh” by Rajaa Alsanea. Some of the critiques compare it to Sex and The City , but I think it’s much better than that stupid show. I sound grouchy, but I’m not. Just tired. I’ll write more about the book next time.
I’m off to bed. Night, night. Hasta Pronto. xx
Filed under: city life | Tags: After Dark, Baptists, Columbia Heights, funerals, Haruki Murakami, Washington D.C.
Sunday! It’s the weekend and what am I spending my time doing? Looking for housing. The saga continues. I went to go and see a house yesterday which was in bad condition and overpriced. I walked down the street (located in Columbia Heights) and felt the tight grip of white money loosen its hold (The neighborhood has experienced intense gentrification in the last 2-3 years, thanks to the construction of major shopping center. Build a Target, and they will come – as I like to say). The houses weren’t renovated and the front yards were filled with overgrown weeds and miscellaneous crap. I didn’t loose hope – I thought the house I was going to see might be the diamond in the rough – or something like that. Baptists, just let out of the church on the corner, flooded the streets and stood around chatting. I assumed the gathering was a funeral. People were dressed in black and many men wore RIP t-shirts with a scanned photo of a young man. Was this a funeral for a gang shooting? My imagination was going wild. Scattered among the Baptists were regular porch dwellers.
I kept walking until I reached the end of the block and realized I must have walked past the house. I backed up a few feet and there it was- it didn’t look like a house…more like a yellow, peeling wall with a door. I took a deep breath and called one of the roommates to let her know I was there. The inside was sparse and stuffy. I sat and talked with the two roommates for about 20 minutes. They seemed like nice people. The girl was the one moving out (so who cares about her) and the guy was a journalist and a vegetarian. What’s the deal with all the vegetarians? I’m taking a hamburger to my next house meeting. I’m not sure why, I just want to.
I think they liked me, but who knows. I don’t really want to live there, but yesterday, when I was sitting there, I felt desperate. They said they’d contact me by Monday next week. I don’t believe people anymore. Now I think they are trying to screw me. Ah, the joys of city life. I do like it here, but I’m starting to understand why people rarely smile at you on the metro. This is the city, not some pansy suburb – GET SERIOUS.
I’m going to see another place today located in East Falls Church (VA). It’s a little far from the action, but, as I said earlier, this is desperation. I’m praying this house is better than the last. If not, I’m going to move on to finding a two bedroom apartment and work on finding my own roommate. Finally, I will wield the power of the roommate decision! HAHAHAHA.
I can’t be homeless for much longer. I need to take my clothes out of my suitcase. I need friends, too. I think the clothes part can be easily remedied; I’m not sure about the friends.
Book Update:
I broke down and went to Barnes & Nobles and bought three new books. I was determined to finish reading the one I brought with me (Sacred Games by Vikram Chandra), but I just couldn’t get into it. Instead, I’m enjoying Haruki Murakami’s After Dark. Its creepy, but good. I think this review does the book justice. I’ll try to write my own review when I’m finished.
I’ll update my housing hunt status in a few hours. Hasta pronto. xx
Filed under: city life
Yesterday was my first day of work. It went fairly well, and I got far more assignments than I expected. I learned how to surf the Web for pertinent documents (combing through the bureaucratic greatness of America) and wrote some news briefs. Today, my second day was pretty much the same, minus the surfing tutorial and the general uneasiness of not knowing what to do. Although I felt more comfortable today, I still found myself getting a bit glazed after hour six. I need to get used to starring into the Internet abyss again. These months of unemployment have left me free to roam the world, free to leave the computer without the fear that I might miss something.
I doubt I’ll write much about work, unless something extraordinary happens. Just know that for about 8-9 hours everyday, I am contributing to society.
Housing update:
I went to go sign sublease papers yesterday after work and things got real shitty. I was tired from using my brain all day (another thing I’m no longer used to) and was wearing freakishly uncomfortable shoes, but I soldiered on and spent almost an hour in transit. I could feel the blisters forming as I walked from the Metro station to the house (approx. 20 minutes) and was so relieved when I arrived. The other two roommates I hadn’t met yet (lets call them B & C) seemed nice enough and I started to think I may have found a place to live! Then, C decides to tell me about how B might have a friend moving to the area at the end of August. Its awkward and clearly there is tension between B, C, and A, the girl who wants to sublet her room. I get stressed and almost cry. Basically, they tell me in a fake-nice way they’d kick me out at the end of August, but I could stay there for a month…like I’m some kind of charity case. Uh, Hello? I’d be paying rent (money) for the room.
The experience was terrible and the girls were mean. To make it worse, they kept saying, “You’re so cute,” to me as if I was some kind of puppy. Completely patronizing.
I come back from the house and ate my microwavable meal and then let a few tears out. I accepted the situation and moved on. I’m trying to gear up for more craigslist searching…which I plan to do tomorrow.
Randomness/Reasons for happiness:
I watched WEEDS today after work. I highly recommend it to anyone who doesn’t have moral issues with drug use, racy sex scenes and offensive stereotypes. HAH. The house I’m staying at has SHOWTIME. Considering I didn’t have a T.V. for most of college, this is a major upgrade. I thought I’d have to wait another year to see season four on DVD. I’ll admit, I’m a little disappointed by Conrad’s absence. He was so decent! so kind! so good at growing pot! Based on extensive Internet research, I don’t think Conrad is coming back. Booooooo! I, along with the other Conrad lovers, don’t like this.
Unrelated to WEEDS – Comedy Central and MTV are going to air a Pro-Obama ad. According to the NYT, MTV hasn’t aired a political ad in a decade. Here’s to change! And, the power of money.
Hasta Pronto. xx
Filed under: city life | Tags: Hirshhorn Museum, House hunting, Trainspotting, United States Holocaust Memorial Museum
It’s been forever! I promised I would blog everyday and I’m already failing. Bad sign. To make up for my lack of updates, check out some photos of my favorite pieces of modern and contemporary art from the Hirshhorn Museum and Sculpture Garden.
(The tree with the notes tied on it is called “The Wish Tree” by Yoko Ono – Yes, I made a wish and No, I can’t tell you what it was.)
The special exhibition (Cinema Effects) had some interesting video installations. Of course, there were a few I didn’t quite get…but, the ones I did get were solid.
After my delightful and stress free experience at the Hirshhorn on Wednesday, I completely changed pace (and got much more serious) on Friday and made a trip to the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum. It was painful, educational and exhausting all at the same time. I almost cried after I read a quote from Elie Wiesel located on the third floor of the museum. I only stayed for two and a half hours, although I could have stayed for twelve. The museum is overflowing with information. I was totally glum the rest of Friday and couldn’t wait to go to sleep. I still can’t shake some of the images I saw, but I’m glad I visited. The museum is definitely a must-see.
That’s the sightseeing update, now for the “Alyah is in the city and remains to be semi-homeless” story update. Basically, I spent the entire day today looking for housing. I begin at 10:30 am and didn’t end until 5 pm. There was a break in-between, but it wasn’t long and it didn’t involve a massage or relaxation of any sort, just a mediocre turkey sandwich I made and a glass of milk.
I visited two houses with just one female roommate (neither very good friend material) and the other two houses were groups. The first group house was better than the second one, and the second group house was dirty, smelled and had stray cats. This cat appeared out of nowhere and the girl giving the “tour” of the house said, “OH yeah, there are a few kitties around. It’s fun” I think she meant to say it’s absolutely gross and unhygienic. I kept thinking of the movie Trainspotting where the character (Andy, right?) dies from all the cat poop in his apartment.Vomit.
Oh, Oh AND she goes on to explain how she’s a vegan and the other people in the house are vegetarians (clearly, inferior) and says, “If you want to prepare meat…that’s OK I guess…just don’t leave your salmonella around on the counters.” Um, what? I may eat meat, but I don’t particularly enjoy salmonella poisoning, at least not yet.
So, the first group house was manageable (harmless people, reasonably clean space) but the second one is out. Everyone I visited today said they would try to make a decision by the end of this weekend. I’m not sure I believe them. The other group house I saw on Thursday hasn’t even contacted me to tell me if they’ve chosen someone. Funny story – I ran into a guy (tries way too hard while also telling people he’s unemployed) from Thursday at the dirty, cat poop house. This whole group house, picking roommates process gives (insignificant) people way too much power.
In conclusion, I am already tired of house hunting. But, I may go again tomorrow, if I find some good possibilities. Yeesh, I’m dreading it. I’m crossing my fingers for no more Salmonella lectures or long treks from Metro stations in extreme humid-hotness.
I start work in one day! Hasta pronto. xx
Filed under: city life
I got the job at IWP! I can’t believe it actually happened. The anxiety-ridden hunt is over! My body is tired from all the stress, but I am happy.
Of course, I expected to hear the news early yesterday morning, but I didn’t get a phone call until almost 5 p.m. I practically went nuts waiting. I kept thinking the worse, when I should have tried to be more optimistic. I think the ‘my friend look for 7 months (see previous post)’ really freaked me out. I kept imagining myself working at some thankless job that involved no writing and crap pay.
The editor who called told me she had spent the day figuring out what she was going to offer me. She said she picked me “cause I like you better, so there.” I believe those were her exact words. She said I seemed nicer than the other candidate. Fo’ sheezi.
I start next Monday. I went to the office today and picked up my new employee packet. I need to figure out the medical insurance details, etc. Exciting, I know.
Now that I’ve got my job straight, I need to focus my attention on housing. I must have sent 3,000 e-mails today via craigslist. I’m not sure about which area I want to live in. Thus far, I like U Street the best. But, housing there is more expensive. You’ve got to pay if you want to be (or at least seem) cool. I liked U Street because it reminded me of Brooklyn.
I went out to dinner today with the kind couple who are letting me stay with them. We met up with some of their friends in Dupont Circle and went to a place called Pizza Paradiso. Minus the slight claustrophobic feeling I got (people literally sitting on other people), the pizza was tasty. This restaurant must be a guidebook favorite because it was overflowing with tourists. I could tell they were tourists by their awesome U.S. presidents t-shirts, grouchy children and sunburned faces. Ah, the joys of family vacation. If I’m feeling energetic tomorrow, I think I’ll go to the Smithsonian and see some interesting old, possibly modern stuff.
It totally rocks when the boss likes you better. Amen. Hasta pronto. xx
Filed under: city life
I’ll find out if I got the IWP job in less than 12 hours. I’m so nervous. I manged to walk and swim today, which means I am tired and I want to sleep. I hope my nerves don’t keep me tossing and turning.
I went and saw another room for rent today. The roommates kind of sucked and I’m pretty sure they lied about their age. The post said, “young, female professionals in 20s,” but they looked old to me. In my situation, old is NOT gold. I want to be friends with at least one of my roommates, and I doubt these women share my interests. I know I only met them for 15 minutes…but I got what I needed to made a thorough analysis of their entire personalities. HAH. Seriously.
When I was leaving, one of the roommates assured me I was a good person (how does she know?) and then told me, if they didn’t choose me, someone else will “snatch you right up.” She followed this semi-annoying statement with a story about her friend who looked for a job in D.C. for 7 months. She knew I was job hunting and clearly wanted to discourage me/make me want to scream a lot. Gee, thanks.
I don’t want to seem totally heartless: they were friendly, the room was affordable (although small) and was in a safe neighborhood. I don’t think they’ll choose me though. Well, actually, I don’t know. The roommate selection process is quite arbitrary. Just as I made assumptions about them, they made assumptions about me. Luckily, I went over there totally scuzzy and smelling like chlorine. This, I’m sure, scores me bonus points.
Anyways, more importantly, I read a disturbing story about aid workers being killed in Somalia today in the New York Times. Clearly, the ones (can I call them people?) organizing the terror campaign don’t care if their fellow men, women and children die.
More to come, Hasta Pronto. xx
